It’s a commitment. A solemn vow that expresses the intention to spend the rest of your days with that person. I think that in today’s world, the idea of marriage has moved away from the traditional values of respect, honesty and faithfulness until death. The phrase “marriage will change everything” is heard quite often.
I don’t understand why our younger generations have this magical fantasy of what marriage is or should be. I see many of these folks making Facebook posts and various memes about #marriagegoals. I also see same individuals cheat, and lie to their partner. If you cheat and betray your spouse, your marriage is going to drastically change. A marriage will change based on impact of your actions. Some individuals are completely unable to comprehend the previous statement. Others are obsessed with idea of being married that they don’t understand the concept of marriage. No matter what predicament they are currently in or will be in when they marry the current partner, the results will probably be similar. Divorce, and in some cases a custody battle.
Divorce isn’t the end of the world. It’s just a legal end to a legal contract resulting from the contract not working out. The reasons for a marriages ending in divorce are endless. I’ve been divorced and my reasoning was simple. He was controlling, even in the dating stages. As we continued to stay together and attempt to progress our relationship, the controlling behavior became worse and I realized that I didn’t love him, and I didn’t recognize myself. He expected me play certain roles in the marriage that I vehemently disagreed with.
Despite my previous failures, I moved forward in my relationship with Matthew. I refused to let my past mistakes and traumatic scars spill into and tear apart my future. Matthew and I deserve a chance to build a future together. He explains “us” in analogies.
My personal favorite of his is a fitness one.
“Everyone wants a super model body. They want it instantly. They focus on the end result but forget it takes months or years of hard work and dedication, and some protein to make it happen. There will be lazy days that you want to sleep in and skip the gym, or injuries that happen from attempting to do too much. Life happens but you still have to keep going. Jenny, if we were to falter, we will never fail.”
My husband and I fight. Every married couple, or anyone in a relationship does at some point. However, Matt and I do not attack or insult. We just talk and debate. Then we agree to a compromise if we stand on opposite sides of the street.
I see so many couples that ultimately destroy each other. I thought communication was common sense, but alas, it is a art form that has to be tested, tried and practiced. It’s a shame that our generation is coming to this.