Putting “We” before “Me”

In the era of “Tinder” and various dating websites,relationships are becoming scarce. Successful long-term marriage seems almost extinct.

A lot of the folks I talk to nowadays have a skewed mindset about the ideas of marriage.

Marriage is NOT about you. It’s about the team you created when you took your vows. It’s about you and your partner, getting through the rough seas and surfing the beautiful waves together.

I want to go on a cruise with my husband. I looked into all the details and the price tag at the final end point was intimidating. I don’t blame him for not wanting to spend that much money on it.

I thought about going on a cruise all by myself. It was a intermittent lapse in judgement. He would be hurt that I would just up and leave without a second thought. I would miss him too much and be upset to be apart. He knows I want to go on a cruise. I know that he will take me on one. It might not be exactly when I want to go but I know he will take me someday.

I am a spoiled wife. My husband has never told me “no”. The answer might be “not right now honey” but I know him and his communication well enough to understand that he literally means NOT RIGHT NOW! I just have to be patient. I can do that. I value his input.

I know that right now he is thinking about babies, and the fact that we still don’t have a dining room table. He also wants a new couch. (I’ll admit, my couch is old but hey, its comfy. My husband wants a comfier one.)

So we compromised. Dining room table first, then couch. Baby first, cruise later.

My mom already said to bring the baby to her and we can go gallivanting off to the ocean for a couple weeks.I know she’s serious about that offer too. One of the advantages to living a few states away from my parents is that they will take advantage of any time available to see us or grandchildren. Seriously, I have awesome fucking parents.

Anyways, marriage is all about what can WE get through together. All the new generation seems interested in is what can another person give me. I am so tired of seeing children (I say children but they are actually immature adults) posting things about #marriagegoals but are clueless about what marriage entails.

Marriage is sacrifice and compromise. It’s an understanding with your partner. It’s communication, respect and honesty.

Matthew will always fill my needs and wants. He knows that I will do the same in return. Our relationship will always come first. When we plan, we plan according to what will benefit us, not ourselves. Does that make sense or did I find a rabbit hole?

Meh, if you have questions, just comment. I can explain more that way.

 

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