In the past 24 hours, I have only gotten two hours of sleep. Here is a screenshot of my fitbit report, in case anyone was questioning my integrity.I know this isn’t healthy. Driving myself to and from work probably isn’t the safest thing to do. I have no choice.
I’ve been moved to the dreaded mid shift. I was notified about four days before my first shift began. Thank you Lord for putting an NCO like Sgt O in the engine shop with me. If I didn’t receive a text from that NCO, I wouldn’t have known that I got moved shifts, or of the report time for that shift.
I have lived the mid-shift life for a long time. I was hoping that it would stay in my past. I have severe sleeping issues. It’s not a secret. It’s in my medical history. It’s a legit problem and its been diagnosed as chronic insomnia. I have tried every legal over-the-counter medication that is offered in the United States. I have tried the bath soaks, the essential oils, the lotions, the melatonin, the teas… You name it, I’ve tried it!
Nothing really works. Well, a prescribed sleep aid medication works. However, I do not currently have a means to inquire about a medication from my primary care physician until 22 November 2017. Did I mention that I started mid-shift on wee evening/morning hours of 6 November 2017? I am having to suffer through approximately 10 more shifts before I can get the help I desperately need.
Today was rough. I got off work at 0700 this morning. I had an appointment at the base at 1400. I live roughly 30 minutes from base, not accounting for traffic. I needed to leave the house by 1300 so I was still a little early to the appointment. I was planning on waking up at 1230 to get ready. As you can tell from my screenshotted picture posted above, I woke up at 1123. I woke up a little more than an hour early. I didn’t set an alarm for that early. I just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.
After my appointment, I drove home and attempted to go back to sleep. That clearly didn’t work. At least I can go in “late tonight”. My appointment was over at 1500 so I am supposed to report in 12 hours after that time. If I was a normal person that had a normal sleep patterns, I could have taken a nap before. But, alas! I am a sleeply, cranky, zombie maintainer.
My eyes are tender, red and itchy. My body feels like I am dragging it through mud. My brain feels cluttered.
I hate this shift. I have no idea why I was randomly moved to mids. Mids at this AMU is a servicing crew. I don’t know if I pissed off someone and I’m being punished or if whoever made this decision to move me thought I was someone who could sleep well, regardless of the location of the ball of light in the sky.
At this point. Fuck it. I am tired. I’ll do the best I can. I’m desperately praying for retraining and blissful sleep that lasts longer than 2 hours.
Here’s to at least another 7 hours before I can go to sleep. This life fucking sucks sometimes.