The end draws near

Today, I am 38 weeks pregnant. I can’t wait to hold my child for the first time and never be pregnant again.

This pregnancy has been a rough one.

I’ve struggled with anxiety, insomnia and depression the entire time. I also had morning sickness the entire time. The doctors I have seen haven’t been very helpful.

Since I am active duty military, I have to be seen by an on-base provider if the facilities on the base have the staff available. Unfortunately, Nellis has a fully functional hospital on the installation as well as OB providers. I am less that impressed by the quality of care I have received.

During my pregnancy, with the exception of 1 nurse practitioner (not even a OB), I’ve felt like any concerns and issues that I’ve brought up, have been ignored and downplayed by the providers. I don’t get to see the same provider every time. I see whoever is available.

I am extremely nervous about delivering my child at this installation’s hospital. I don’t have faith in the providers and I just feel pressured to “just go along” with things so they can shuffle me out the door and proceed onto the next patient.

There is some positive things that have come about from this pregnancy.

My marriage has been strengthened throughout this pregnancy. My husband has been an excellent provider at home. He cooks and cleans the majority of the time so I can get off my feet, crochet and relax. He built the crib and rocking chair for me. He drives me to work everyday so I don’t have to try and squeeze behind the wheel. He is always making sure that I have everything that I need.

Seeing this behavior in my husband has reassured me that he will be an excellent father. Deep down, I was worried that he would turn out to be lazy like my ex was. All those fears have been permanently banished. I am truly grateful for my husband and that I never had children with my ex.

I don’t know the exact date that this little one will come into the world but I know that it is soon. We are excited and eagerly awaiting that moment.

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