The double standard for Parents

Have you ever noticed that it takes so little to be considered a good father and so little to be considered a bad mother?

Well, I have and it frustrates me.

My husband is a good father but it isn’t because he does the bare minimum. He doesn’t “watch (or babysit) the baby”, he takes care of his daughter. He feeds her, changes her diapers and will rock her to sleep. He gets up with her on the weekend mornings and will gladly tend to her so I can get a break. He’ll take care of her during his lunch breaks if I have an appointment that I have to go to. He picks her up and will play with her. I’ve rarely had to ask him for help with her because he just offers or just beats me to it.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m married to a man that acts like an actual father. He doesn’t use excuses like “I’m tired” and “I worked all day”. He steps up to the plate and takes care of his daughter the same way I do, without hesitation, complaints or being told/asked to.

I have friends that have to deal with their partners being lazy and borderline neglectful fathers. Some of the men act like that because they are the primary breadwinner and a couple act like that frankly because they are just freaking lazy men. I will never understand why some men act like that and why my friends stay with men like that. Leaving a man is scary but I’ve done it. I’ve never regretted it.

I know I am a good mother. My child is loved, clean, healthy and well fed. I’ve maintained a reasonable schedule for her which has resulted in her sleeping through the night and my sanity remaining. As she continues to develop, I’ll adjust my parenting methods.

My goal is to raise a well-mannered child. I don’t want her to be one of the disrespectful and spoiled children that I’ve encountered. I plan on teaching her so she’ll be a little ahead of her peers in school.

If y’all have any advice, I’d appreciate it.

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